I have always wanted to write.
While I was working and consumed with all those things that are part of keeping life and limb together on a daily basis, I didn’t think I had time to pursue that. Ironically, (or not), for the last five years of his life, my husband constantly badgered me (in the nicest possible way, of course), about ‘when I was going to quit my day job and write’. I always reminded him (in the nicest possible way, of course), that we needed my day job to help support his farming habit. But with his sudden and unexpected death in June of 2014, the landscape of my life changed overnight. Nothing was the way it used to be. The day job was no more. I no longer did hardly any of the things that had previously defined my existence, and even the small handful of things that I did still do had a decidedly different tenor now that I did them all alone.
With that drastic change in reality came the necessity for me to figure out, as I mention on my Home page, who I am now, where I fit in the world and how to rebuild my life now that the life I had no longer exists. Which is why you’re seeing this blog. Since writing is something I’ve always dreamed of doing, and I now have the space and time to accommodate that, I’m trying it out. This is brand new territory for me, both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. I’m hoping it works, but if it doesn’t, I’ve already decided to take a page from my husband’s m. o. and instead of bemoaning the failure, (if that’s what happens…), I’m going to use it as a ‘permission slip’ to try something else.
While I speak from my own unique perspective having lost my spouse and best friend, the things I will be exploring in this space have a universal application at their core. We all deal with loss of various types; we all reach points in our lives where what we’ve always done is no longer possible and we have to do something else; at times we all experience loneliness and sadness; celebrating small victories and acknowledging and cultivating what brings us joy is important for everyone to do. Discerning exactly who we are and where we fit in the world is something all of us engage in at some level throughout the span of our lives.
I did not expect to be traveling this path at this point in my life, but here I am, moving forward one step at a time, one day at a time. I would cherish your companionship as I journey.
Just wondering: If you could do anything you wanted right this minute, what would you do?
Is there something you’ve always wanted to do that you’ve never been able to?
What about that excites you and brings you joy?
Even if you can’t do that “one thing” right now, is there a way to incorporate some of the excitement and joy it generates into your current reality?